samandkennasmom Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 About 2 years ago I had a good friend want to help me with my candles. If nothing else I can just come over and keep ya company! I had known her for quite a few years. I'm sure ya already know where this is going, right? Yeah..after about 5 times of keeping me company, she started making candles. So..now I have 2 friends that want to come over and see my house, I love primitive and my hubby is redoing our house in old barnboard. Both have mentioned how they really want to "see" my candle room. How would you go about this? I don't wanna come across as snobby or anything..like no I'm sorry, I can't show you that! They would more than likely think I'm a wing nut! Help me, please?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithfulScenter Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 (edited) I would go for the "its such a mess" approach, and change the subject. Usually people wont press the issue, if they do just say you really don't want anyone to see it and leave it at that! Edited September 18, 2012 by FaithfulScenter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samandkennasmom Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I forgot to add that I'm so unorganized and one of my friends is super awesome at it! She's offered to help me with it. So do I dare? My husbands says I'm just paranoid, not everyone wants to make candles, Michele! I would love the help though.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samandkennasmom Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 Oh my gosh, that's to funny cause that is exactly what I say. Oh, I'm not coming over to judge you, just would love to see your house and chat with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deb426 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 "Sorry, its a mess right that I'm going into my busy season. I'll show you some other time." Of course, "some other time" never comes around. Close the door when they come over and don't open it. Kind of like what you do to a teenager's room, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravens Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 How about telling them the truth? For me it is something along the lines, "my candle/B&B quarters are off limits; not even family members enter it. It's my domain". Everyone should have their private corner, right? Then make your candle headquarters your "private corner"; hang a door sign that reads "A Room of One's Own: Mine!" :neener: Oh my gosh, that's to funny cause that is exactly what I say. Oh, I'm not coming over to judge you, just would love to see your house and chat with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzyK Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Wow. That's just very uncool of your friend to do that. The fact that the other to friends mentioned checking out your candle area would set off alarms for me too. I might let them see it but I would hide all labels and such that say where you buy.I sort of had someone do that to me and my friend (she has a vinyl biz) at an open house we had a few weeks ago. She didn't beat around the bush though, she asked us straight out how we made our products. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisR Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 The messy room sometimes works, but if it doesn't throw in the insurance company won't cover them in case something should happen. That's what I use and so far no arguments. NO ONE gets to my basement workroom EVER!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCraftersNook Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I would agree that the candle part is off limits ... an if shes insistant on it .. put things away an dont show her anything that has a suppliers name on it .. I had someone want me to sell them wholesale tarts for christmas gifts ... come to find out she sold them at a local school show an igot wind of it an ratt'd her out to the masse that it was me that made them .. an they wanted proof so i had someone ask infront of alot of other moms .. how did you make them .. what oils were used .. what wax temp was used ? what type of wax are they ? how did you get the frosting to look so real .. an so on .. an when she couldnt answer any of them .. i laughed an walked away saying .. wanna be maker is all she is .. never talked to her again ... an shes not made one since . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chefmom Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Yes, this is a story that runs through the cake decorating world as well..........with the same outcome.Letting someone "see" your space isn't that big of a deal in my opinion. However, I would have all my boxes of type of wax pointing away and the fragrance bottles out of sight etc. Obviously your set up is there, but your supplies would be kept secret.I don't have a problem stating that I have spent years of time and loads of $$ perfecting my system and I really can't just give it away. A real friend would understand, a "friend" would leave in a huff.As for someone helping me "organize" well, that is also a key ticket into what wax you use, what wicks/color and where those FO are coming from. That would be a no no in my book. Even if they never make candles etc, they could have a sister/cousin who wants to, and they could easily feed all that info to them. I've had my personal created recipes stolen right from under my nose, it's a sore subject with me and I tend towards the side of paranoia.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noodle Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 (edited) I have never had a friend insist on seeing my work space. I would just say it is off limits to everyone- except for me. Edited September 18, 2012 by Noodle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksranch Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 My DH put up a GATE where one would go downstairs to the basement. It's locked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samandkennasmom Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I don't have a door on my room yet! I will have to get hubby on that! I had quite a few people, thinking back on it that have said..oh, you make candles? I'll have to come over sometime and see how you do it. I don't ever want to sound like a jerk and it always makes me uncomfortable so I usually just pretend I didn't hear them! That's probably even more rude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorseScentS Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 (edited) I would just explain that each candle maker has their own way of doing things, this is different from others' ways of doing it, and I don't allow anyone into my candle making space because I want to protect my proprietary secrets. Edited September 18, 2012 by HorsescentS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darbla Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 "I'd show you but then I'd have to kill you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam W Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 "I'd show you but then I'd have to kill you."I'm for telling the truth - if you make up an excuse this time....what ya going say next time??? My candle making space is off limits to everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillsthings Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I had one of my mom's friends ask to see my work area at one point, saying she'd love to see how it all works. It's tough because I don't have a room or a basement that I can use, so I've got a corner in our living room (two rooms with a big archway between; first room has couch and tv, second had our computers and my candle station) so when she did come over to pick up her order, she glanced over in the corner, but didn't get anything from me, lol. We're planning to move in about two years (fingers crossed it could be sooner) and I have already been looking at houses that will have a room just for me! I've got 4 tables set up in a J shape right now and it takes up half the room and with boxes all underneath the tables, some on tops...yeah, good thing we don't have people over, haha! I've thought about taking my candle station up to our bedroom, which is just above these two rooms, same amount of space. I just hate the idea of dragging it all up there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithfulScenter Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I have the same problem Jill! My station is in the kitchen, I've got an expandable kitchen cart that I store everything on, and I have tons of decorated boxes that I store my FO and supplies in, I keep about 10 lbs of wax in tins, the boxes I keep in my closet. I'm thankful I have a big kitchen that allows me the room to move, but I am looking forward to buying a bigger place, with a garage or a room of my own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oceangazer1 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'm for telling the truth - if you make up an excuse this time....what ya going say next time??? My candle making space is off limits to everyoneYes, tell the truth!! If it comes off wrong then so be it. Do you want the same thing to happen again. Just tell them it's off limits. I unfortunately am back in my kitchen because we have no basements in Florida. So when the doorbell rings and I'm busy, I will not answer it to anyone. Well, just family lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacktieaffair Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Everyone of the above suggestions are really good.. but I took a different approach to it.I was all excited and said " come on ! let me show you... "Then I took them in, and I went into HIGH detail about EVERYTHING ( chemical reactions, wax variances, temp variances, scents and how they act, how dangerous some of it could be to me or the customer, how EXPENSIVE each and every item in there was, and how much insurance is so I make sure I don't get sued because someone used a faulty warmer that caught on fire and tried to blame me even though I had nothing to do with it. ) I got serious with it... all the things we tell the newbies who ask about testing and all the other questions... and I laid it out how hard, detailed, and expensive each and ever item was to make, how many hours upon hours I spent reading boards and searching websites for the perfect price, perfect item, reasonable shipping... When you truly lay it ALL out there.. any ideas they had of starting it up themselves, 9.9 times out of 10 , goes out the door with them ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samandkennasmom Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I used to only have my kitchen too! Am so Blessed and thankful to now have my own room! I am hoping things change for all you girls soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debscent Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I have always shared my experiences and would show people how to make candles if they asked. As of today, not one of them started their own business or made their own. People are curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OldGlory Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I've lost several good friends over this issue. If I had it to do over, I would not talk to my friends about my business - ever. It all start with an innocent enough question, which leads to several more questions, and before you know it, they are asking question that would only lead to them making candles themselves. In fact this happened just a few months ago. My friend thought flattery would gert me to loosen up, but no dice. Haven't heard from her since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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